If you have ordered a personalised memorial song — or are thinking about it — this page is here to help you understand what receiving one is like, and how to prepare yourself for the moment you first hear it.
Most companies don't write pages like this. We do because we have learned, over time, that the song lands differently than people expect. Sometimes more powerfully. Sometimes more disorienting. Almost always more emotionally than they prepared for.
The first time you listen to your song will likely be more emotional than you expect. People tell us they prepared themselves to be moved — and were still surprised by the depth of what they felt. This is normal. It does not mean anything is wrong.
A few things help:
Don't listen for the first time at work. Or in the car. Or while doing something else. Your first listen deserves your full attention, in a place where it is safe to feel whatever arrives. Many people listen for the first time in the evening, alone or with one trusted person.
Have water, tissues, and time. You may need all three. Some people need to listen twice in a row — once to take it in, once to actually hear it.
Don't listen if you are already in crisis. If you are having a particularly bad day, or you have not been sleeping, or you have been holding things together by very thin margins — wait until you are slightly steadier. The song will be there when you are ready.
If you are early in grief, take extra care. The first two weeks after a loss are dissociative for most people. Receiving a song that captures someone perfectly while you are still in shock can be more than you expected. You do not need to listen the moment it arrives. Let it sit until you feel ready.
People describe the experience of hearing their memorial song for the first time in remarkably similar terms:
Recognition. The first thing most people feel is a strange sense of recognition — that the song is somehow already familiar, even though they have never heard it. This is your brain registering that the lyrics describe someone you actually know.
A specific moment of being undone. There is usually a single moment in the song where the person's name, or a particular memory, or a specific phrase you used in the questionnaire, lands. This moment is often the one that brings tears. People describe pausing the song, going back to that moment, and listening to it again.
Stillness afterwards. Most people don't talk for a few minutes after the song ends. There is a quality of presence that is hard to describe — as if the person you lost has briefly been in the room with you.
Wanting to share it. The instinct to immediately send the song to a sibling, a parent, or a close friend is very common. Some people do this straight away; others wait days. Either is fine. There is no right way.
Coming back to it. Most people return to the song more often than they expected. It becomes part of how they hold the person they lost — not just a one-off ceremonial piece, but something they live with.
Sometimes the first listen does not land the way you imagined. The song captures something true but not the thing you most wanted captured. The voice doesn't quite fit. The tempo feels wrong. A specific memory you mentioned isn't there.
This is a normal part of how the process sometimes goes. Three things to know:
One free revision is included with every order. If the song is close but not right, tell us what would make it right. Many of our most-loved final songs went through one round of revision. The first version pointed us toward what mattered; the second version captured it.
Listen again before you decide. First reactions in grief are not always the same as second reactions. Many people hear something they aren't sure about on the first listen, then find on the third or fourth listen that it is exactly right. The brain processes grief differently each time.
If after revision the song still isn't right, you receive a full refund. No questions. No debate. We would rather you have your money back than carry a song that doesn't honour the person it was meant to honour.
Sometimes the person who orders is not the person who will receive the song first. A grandchild orders for a grandparent. A friend orders for someone whose loss is more recent than their own. A sibling orders on behalf of a whole family.
If you are giving the song as a gift, a few things to consider:
Don't surprise them with it in public. Or at a gathering. The first listen needs to be private. Send them the file with a short message — that you have done this for them, that they can listen when they are ready, that you will be there afterwards if they want to talk.
Be available, but don't hover. They may want to talk straight after listening. They may not want to talk for days. Both are normal.
Don't ask "what did you think." Ask "did it bring you peace" or "did anything in particular land for you" or simply "are you alright" — questions that allow for an honest answer rather than requiring a verdict.
If your song is for a funeral, memorial, or scattering ceremony, there are practical things to know:
Listen to it in full at home first. Before the service. Ideally several days before. This means you will not be hearing it for the first time at the service itself, which is too much to bear publicly.
Brief the people closest to you. Tell them when in the service the song is playing. Tell them what to expect. A song with the deceased's name in the lyrics catches people off-guard if they aren't prepared.
Have a quiet space available. Some attendees may need to step out during the song. This is a kindness, not a failure. Make sure there is a private space they can use.
Trust the song to do its work. You don't need to introduce it elaborately. A simple announcement — "we have had a song written about Mum, which we'd like you to hear now" — is more than enough.
If you are reading this because you have lost someone, please remember: there is no correct way to grieve, and there is no correct way to use music as part of grieving. The instincts you have about what feels right are usually correct.
If at any point grief becomes overwhelming, please reach out to professional support. Cruse Bereavement Care (UK) on 0808 808 1677. Samaritans (UK & Ireland) on 116 123. Lifeline (Australia) on 13 11 14. SAMHSA (US) on 1-800-662-4357.
The song we write for you is not a substitute for support. It is something to hold alongside it.
Take as much time as you need. The questionnaire saves as you go, and there is no expiry on starting it.
Begin Their Song →